Yours updated

I sit here before you, slightly intoxicated. I sat slightly, although i've drunk 1/2 a bottle of vodka, 5 VKs, 1 SAMBUCCA shot and a double mailbu and coke. Which to some is much but the fact i am sitting here writing this, however un correct it may be, is witness to the fact that i am not too bad. It may be 3 in the morning but when i have an urge to blog, i have an urge to blog.

My friend made me feel horrible today. I tried on one of my dresses and she was like "Noooooo" Ok, so she's being honest but she could've at least tried to spare my feelings. And then she spends the night complaining about how horrid she looked (when obviously i looked worse).
It just took my already low self esteem to its all-time lowest. What happened to everyone likes different shapes? What happened to personality not looks?
No, i cringed at the way i looked, look. And that, for me, sucks.

I like to only care what i think. What should i care what others think, if i myself am happy? Why?

Why do i have a crush on someone i can' t have when i don't even believe in crushes?

What is happening to me? How am i becoming someone i really do not want to be?

Yours updated,

Lou xxx