Waiting...

Have you ever felt that everything is just about waiting? On different scales. At the moment i'm waiting.

- Waiting for my friends to arrive.
- Waiting for my boyfriend to return from a 10 day hol.
- Waiting for my bets friend to return from a 6 month hol.
- Waiting to go to University.
- Waiting til work has finished.
- Waiting for endless texts and phone calls, that have been unreturned.

And when you're not doing anything - you're just waiting...waiting. Purpose? For when what you've waited for arrives, they'll be another grande list. Just plain fab!!

Pet Hates

One of my biggest pet hates is when someone tells me to do something that i'm actually already about to do. Was i not fast enough? Am i blind to what needs doing? It makes me fairly angry. I suppose, because it means that i feel inadequate. I hate that.

Another thing that annoys me is when people think it's cool not to do things. Like homework or work. Because it makes me uncool for trying. I try. It's just what i do. It's just who i am.

I hate the feel of velvet too. Just thought i'd add that in!!

The Catch to perfection (or at least close enough)

These past 2 nights have been amazing. Getting my results and everything going really well on top of things unexpectedly going absolutely perfectly with my new boyfriend. =) Despite the fact that he has now gone sailing for 10 days. Thinking time i say =)
Clubbing was great, went to the Zoobar. Then stayed at a mates flat in London before getting a train home, with my new bo.
Slept, went to work.
And then my new bo came round. We watched the Wedding Crasher - fab film. And i am ecstatic =) He's so cute and adorable and i'm so glad i found what i had before again!
Because we've been friends for two years we've got a great basis of relationship and the sparks are flying around.
The catch - From my life you learn, there is always a catch. In a month and 4 days (including the cummulative 15 days that he's away) i move away to Uni. 200 miles away =(
Current thoughts - I want both, i want to stay here with my bo and i want to go to Uni. I've always seen myself going to Uni single and free - no attachments - launch myself into my own life. But, last week, i spent the majority of it with bo, i don't want to let him go. I really really don't. However, it would probably be better than letting relationship go downhill. Man, this sucks. But i'm not complaining - after all - its always better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Thursday - And who thought?!

“Congratulations you’re offer to University has been accepted”

YAY! Its like a dream come true – well it is a dream come true - and it gets better!!

a) I got into my first choice.
b) I got an exceedingly high A in geography.
c) I got a new phone (contract ended – fab coincidence)
d) My mum bought me GHD’s for doing so well.
e) I got an A in Maths!
f) I have a job at Uni.
g) I beat my predicted grades! – ABB – I got AAB!
h) We’re going clubbing tonight!

What a fan-bloodi-tastic day! I’ve got a whole new life lined up and I am so excited and pretty damn chuffed with myself :)

Never thought for one minute that I could get 2A’s and a B.

And now I’m just waiting for my Bo to pick me up and take me to London. I can’t quite describe how happy I am.

Wednesday eve - on the verge of thursday

So, I've spent this week at Lucy's house - fun times eh! - Pretty scared for tomorrow! Its 11.54 - so close to tomorrow, the dreaded day. Update later, just wanted to let you know im still around xxxx

Friday

I've finally reached it - the day people get home! Full of anticipation but it now just feels like another ordinary day! I was plucking my eyebrows (yes, now i am reli giving you the whole details) when i see our new neighbours Cat in the garden - so i go down there to say hi. Two seconds later - its gone - vanished, but the back door was open, consequently meaning i had to spend the next 30 minutes searching the house for a Cat! (well, thats just me for you!)

Then i went to the park to meet Sofs. I meant to be late (shes got a repution for being late) because i didn't feel like standing around for ages. So i leave 20 minutes after i'm supposed to. And guess what happens...I arrive early! Man! When i want to be early i'm late, and when i want to be late i'm early! Crazy sods law.

After the park, i got whisked to a lovely Indian restaurant with Cat and Alex. Yes, i know, gooseberry! But they used reverse psychology on me - i had no choice. And it was great. Took my mind off whats yet to come - and the best bit - when i got home - the house was empty! No shouting - Finally! Although, its transmits that there has been an arguement between my mum and sis. Oh well, its not as if il be around when she gets home and i'm working at 7am tomorrow.

No word from my boyfriend - is he back yet? Who knows?! Im trying my hard not to be paranoid and think his changed his mind about me...but i'm exactly the type paranoia likes!

How am i feeling about results - well sofs suggested that positive thinking is good because even if i do fail - i will see the positive side...clutching at straws - yes maybe. But it could work!

Thursday Evening - Always expect the unexpected.

So Pete came round, inviting me shopping with "the other side" (of our friendship group) - yes we have 2 sides - the 5 of us and the 3 of them - unhealthly for a friendship but its just the way "the cookie crumples!" And, suprisingly - i has fun, ok, so i lost my purse (turns out it was at home) but i suppose thats a good thing - no silly spending!

Then i cam home and got shouted at! doh!

Then i read.

Waay! ;)

Thursday...One Week and Counting...yet happy!

Thursday morning, and i've had time to cool off. Spent the night speaking to Jack over MSN, he's got a girlfriend and the best thing is i'm fine with it! Overly fine - i'm happy for him - which, makes me exceedingly happy for me as now i know i am 100% over him! Yippee!

And that most definately is a good thing for my relationship now. (with Kenya) Well, he (my new boyfriend) (by the way it has been 5 months since i broke up with Jack but i haven't seen him since - he's in South America) gets back on Friday, and i'm rather wondering whether this relationship is going to work.

Ok, so lets set you straight, this is my "love" side - my "at present" boyfriend has been my friend for 2 years, and yes as soon as i saw him i have to admit, yea i fancied him :s And thats a rare thing for me! So, a couple of months later we had a thing. Which failed. I guess i've always had a small thing for him and two years later, we find ourselves on holiday together (with all our mates) and with feelings returning. So we're giving another relationship a go. But then he went sailing (oh yes, he's a sailor!) and then he went to Kenya straight from sailing, hes coming back on Friday and then after a week or so he's going to Croatia, and near the end of September im off to Uni and he's off travelling! So hopes really are running rather low, but it would be inhumane to not try wouldn't it?!

As for a weeks time...well...A-Level results. I'm trying to believe in positive thinking but today all this information about clearing came through the door. Ok, so clearing can't be that bad - i mean my sister went through it when she didn't get her results, but my feelings at the moment are that its a process of utter humiliation. Man i really want these grades!

My first choice - well i need ACC - which for me isn't too bad but the A has to be in Geography (yes, ok, so i'm studying geography but i could have easily slipped to a B in those essay questions, if not a C) Yet, my heart is set on this Uni. Man this sucks!

My insurance - ok don't laugh - I need ABB - but the A can be in any subject and i'm bound to get an A in something (hopefully). I was predicted ABB anyways. Man i hope they're right!

As you may be able to tell, i'm slightly freaking out. Just have to hope that i was having a good day. Of course, i can't even remember how the exams went...or what was on them. I've just got to have hope.

Wednesday WAS good night (careful i feel a rant coming on)

ARRRGGHH - Why is it that everytime i have a good night, where i actually enjoy myself and get to be happy i have to come home to be shouted at??! Whatever reason! There will always be a stupid reason!!! I hate it! This is precisely why i am not a people person - the people i live with are sooo annoying at times like these! Yet i love my friends to pieces. Man i cannot wait to get out of this place!! 45 days and counting... (well, hopefully - depending upon whether i get into Uni or not)

I've such a short fuse with them nowadays. Man what can i do to stand them when they're like this. I've yet to appreciate the time spent without them! GRRRR! Ok, rant over, even that was a pathetic rant. And there's my problem - my family make me feel pathetic.

Wednesday Morning

Good morning world. Today, is going to be a good day. I'm meeting Cat for dinner which i am excited about, purely because i get to go somewhere not in this town! And i'm sitting outside at the moment and the sun has come back out! I'm trying to keep my tan for this competition you see, although it may be inherently bad for your skin. And morever, its halfway through the week! (not including the weekend, but im working the whole weekend.)



Although there is an, shall we say, unfortunate development occuring at the moment. It's my mum. The thing is i don't know whether it is something serious and to be honest i have no one i can really ask right now, i just better watch this space. The other night she got up looking for her pills - she doesn't take any medicene, the two nights since she's obviously been awake because she hears the boiler breaking and spends ages fixing it and then to top it up, last night she checked her emails in the middle of the night and this morning cried because she couldn't find her house keys. Man, as much as we argue, i do love her and sincerely hope it is just stress.

Tuesday Night...Still

So i watched Evolution - ok, so now i agree, it was good. I just love a happy ending! Nothing like a feel good movie. Well the other movie, Waterworld, well, what can i say? Why is it that in many futuristic movies, clothes seem to a) turn green - come on - if red got dirt on it - it would NOT turn green! and b) degrade a hundred years - no one ever wears converse. But thats why i love I-Robot, you know, Will Smith - there's one scene where he gets retro 2005 Converse shoes! Fab!

No ones home yet - so its on to Teachers. I have seen that Heroes (BBC2/NBC/Sci Fi) is on - brilliant programme, shame i've seen it all. Peter Petrelli is so my favourite though, i would explain why but i don't want to spoil it for anyone who may glance across this!

Tuesday Night

Another thing that happens when, shall we say, boredom strikes, is that your imagination runs free - like crazily free. I don't know about you but i get this crazied feeling that i'm being followed. Double checking every corner, seeing black shadows everywhere. Paranoia at a new height for me. Purely because it makes life at the moment seem far more exciting. Then again...maybe i am being followed, there could be a dark haired sniper out there ready to catch me when i'm not expecting it! Ha! Taking the micky out if yourself really is the lowest if the lows! Actually, i met a sniper last month (yes, my life hasn't always been this empty) he ate dinner with us - Cuban. Quite strange. Don't worry, i didn't let him know i thought that!

As for the rest of the evening it's a toss up between 2 films - Evolution (about bugs evolving in the future, featuring Julianne Moore) or Waterworld (about there being no land in the future, featuring Kevin Costner) - I've heard evolution is pretty good but i do love a Kevin Costner movie.

A Little Bit of Noise To Make the Head go Round

And this is the entirety of what i spent 2 hours doing... (see above)

Tuesday Aternoon

Ok, so its Tuesday afternoon. And i'm turning insane. The last time i went out of this house was Sunday, i had a great time but now i'm here, alone, watching my computer clock, tick, tock, tick, tock...
The problem is i'm waiting, waiting for people to come home from work, waiting for people to come home from holiday and long trips abroad, waiting to see if i get a job, waiting to see where my future is going to be and i am not impressed! Next Thursday i get my results and it's, like most people in my situation - driving me insane!! And there's no overtime at work to keep me occupied and no friends available to keep me busy! And my boyfriends in Kenya. Just fab. Here are my friends - Kenya, France, Bolivia, Zante, Germany, Scotland, Focus, Munch and some kitchen selling business. And here i am, at home! Going nuts!! Should i really complain - i get to do basically nothing all day. It's not a hard life - except i can't do nothing - purely because at the end of the day, however much i watched TV or mucked about on the internet or even slept - i have not accomplished anything - and i hate that. The only thing i seem to have accomplished this week is watching the whole series of Heroes (BBC2/NBC) hence the pole. Boredom is a killer, waiting in anticipation for your future is even worse!

My Site Address - seemingly appropriate for nowaday life.

I think i need a shrink - Why else would I blog?!