And then comes the time...

...When paranoia sets in.


And i hate it. On the one hand he says he misses me, that im his special gurl and is ever so sweet but sometimes he just doesn't reply. When i was drunk i sent him 3 messages that went unanswered naturally because he was asleep and he'll usually text the next day. But no such luck. That was Wednesday night, it's now Friday afternoon and i've sent another text with no answer. After going 2.5 months texting or talking each day i am going fiiking crazy!!! And i know it's just paranoia.

But really - does he see my messages and just put his phone back down? Is he ignoring me purposfully???? Is he ok? Is he just tired? Has he lost his phone? WHY THE RUDDY FIIK ISNT HE REPLYING???????!!!!!!!!

But what i'm most annoyed about is the extent to which it affects me. Why am i askng myself all these questions?! Im lucky enough to have him as it is. Why do i let it bother me so when it always (hopefully) turns out ok and he is really lovely to me?

It's just a great big gaping fear that he doesn't want me anymore. And then i think. OK, is that so bad as to having me feel like this? Why can't i sleep when this thought comes into my head and my stomach lurches? I'm fine when i'm single, and i know that. So why the near panic attacks when there is but a minute suggestion that he maybe is reconsidering things?

As my longest post in a while, you can probably tell that i'm going slightly insane but hopefully the next post will set things straight and i just had to get this off my chest! No matter how deluded i sound!!!!

Wrapped in Romance

It seems that this site is all about the highs and lows of my love life. Which is not the purpose, its just6 what i like to think about in my spare time. On that note, i get to visit him next week :) and Bristol n Southampton this weekend was immense!

I found out today that there is no definition of poverty in England. The US have developed thresholds in which poverty comes under, such as size and age of families along with their income. Yet, England has naught. Why? Was is because Margaret Thatcher denied the exsistance of such homelessness? It brings about an interesting question - how do we research poverty in England without a way to "standardise" it?

Are you in poverty if you can buy one loaf of bread a week? less? or more?

Weekend of a Lifetime

I just spent an amazing weekend with my boyfriend. I hadn't seen him in 3 weeks and he came down to visit me at Uni. It was fantastic. Although it had its bad points as every weekend does, such as the fact it was cut short due to some bad news and hangovers, it was truely great. On the Saturday night i had such a big grin i thought my smile might make my head explode!!! :D

But now he's gone. :( And i won't see him for 1 month. 1 month. Shit. Thats 26 days of lonliness, exasterbated by the fact that this weekend was so frickin brilliant. Grrrr.

I need to throw myself into my work, into keeping busy and getting fit.

Damn i miss the boy.